Average Rating: 
Rating: - Attack of the Killer Mascara
Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke, and Sharon Tate spent just a wee bit too long under the hairdryer for this big-budget flop adapted from the equally trashy but considerably more compelling Susann novel about three nice girls who go to pot--but hey! When you're faced with booze, pills, the occasional gay husband, and the hardship of fitting into this year's bikini, what else is a poor girl to do? Parkins, Duke, and Tate spend so much time eye-batting, skirt-twitching, and soap opera-emoting that you'd SWEAR they're actually drag queens, while tough-gal types Susan Hayward and Lee Grant butch it up to a truly frightening degree. The occasional musical turns (would you believe Hayward as a Broadway musical star a la Merman?) are ridiculously written and atrociously performed, and the 1960s mindset simply adds to strangeness of it all. On the whole, its the sort of thing you might imagine would happen if Marilyn Monroe had up and starred in an Ed Woods movie, and the result is so embarassing that it becomes weirdly fun. For best results when showing this film, I recommend cheap pink champagne in plastic glasses, a paper plate full of "mystery crab" canapes, and use the cocktail napkins left over from your last divorce. And invite every cosmetologist you know!
Rating:  - oh MAN, what funny stuff...
I just finished watching this today and can't wait to buy it.There are a couple of slow sections you have to deal with, but overallthis movie's a laugh riot with some howlingly bad dialogue. Just to get an idea of what you're in for, here are my favorite bits:1) Neely O'Hara (Patty Duke) gets her big break singing for a TV telethon, and halfway through her rendition of "It's Impossible" her jerky go-go dancing makes the double necklace she's wearing slip and cup her boobs! The film editor must have had a mean streak to leave this in... 2) In order to console Neely O'Hara about her troubles with her dress designer, Jennifer North (the ever-so-wooden Sharon Tate) reminds her, "You know how bitchy fags can be." Soon after, arguing with her husband, Neely asserts that "Ted Casablanca isn't a fag...and I'm the woman to prove it!" 3) Lonely and wacked out on pills, up-and-coming career girl Anne Welles (Barbara Parkins) walks along the beach, falls on her ass, and writhes on the ground as seaweed gets washed into her mouth! 4) The final hilarious moment of the movie, after a cheesy ripoff of "All About Eve," is when Neely, similarly lonely and wacked out on pills, has one of the funniest incoherent monologues in film history, stumbling down a dark alley ("God. [looking up] God? Neely? NEELY O'HAAARAAAA!"), followed by the camera pulling up and away as she screams at the sky. My lame descriptions don't even begin to do it justice; you just have to see it all for yourself. This is what camp is all about, folks. Rent this along with its anti-sequel, 'Beyond...', and get ready to LAUGH.
Rating:  - RELIVE THE MOVIE IN YOUR CAR OR W/ YOUR WALKMAN!
I would most definitely recommend this soundtrack for anyone is who is a big fan of the movie! The music is perfectly matched to each scene and when you listen to the soundtrack you can, as one of the previous reviewers said, picture each scene in your mind. I get a good chuckle listening to "Neely's Career Montage" and picturing Patty Duke's "workout" and rise to fame! And when I hear "Jennifer's French Movie", I see the beautiful Sharon Tate tossing around under the covers and speaking French! Barbara Parkins's distinguished and elegant narration make the first track a priceless, campy gem that sets the tone for the festivities. While it is disappointing that the title track ("Theme from 'Valley of the Dolls'" - apparently Dionne Warwick's record label had a dispute with the record label that released this soundtrack) and "I'll Plant My Own Tree" are not the versions heard in the film, they still sound similar enough that they manage to convey the same feelings of nostalgic joy! Interestingly enough, the songs Patty Duke's character sings are not really Patty's voice, but the singer they used was a great match for Patty's persona in the movie and both fabulous songs appear here! What more can I say?! If you aren't a big fan of the movie, then this soundtrack probably won't do a thing for you, but if you LOVE the movie like I do, then I a certain you will LOVE this delightfully cheesy soundtrack!
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